The river.

Yet another sleepless night,
Cold in my bed clutching a pillow.
Loveless to say the least I'm
Drowning in an ocean of blankets.

If I had a phone would it be off the hook?
Or would I be intently watching it, waiting
Wasting my time just to hear it ring and
Hearing a soft voice when I put it to my ear?

Cautious arrivals.
My shoes are under my bed,
To keep the nightmares
From walking over the glass.
I realize now that
It's not my dreams that need catching.
It's not what's out there that I fear
It's what's haunting me deep in my bones.

Hang me out to dry and don't
Sing me any songs tonight
Sweet dreams, carry me
Until I wake into the morning light.

I'm tired of metaphorically putting that gun to my head
I'm tired of threatening to pull that trigger right in front of you.

In the downpour
You can't tell the difference between
Tears and the rain
Except by distinguishing the taste of it.
I'm not responsible
For what happens in my lack of decision
Making states of mind
Blame it all on the taste of the red wine.

I haven't an angel to hold me up.
I haven't anything.
How did I become so predictable?
Save me? Darling...

The tears in your dress
And the markings on your back
So familiar to me and so
Untold to falling stories down

To the bottom of the darkest depth.

Don't wake me up.
The earth is the same as the hell that you fail
To save me from.
Nothing else on this side of the river means a thing.