Poems from 07/30/2009

Renewal? I just steal the catalog cards.

This feels
Kind of like a nightmare
The taste of smoke still
Haunts me but I've gone
And replaced
All of my vices with a new
Sense of things and a new
Outlook on life and you know...

It's funny how no matter what we do,
And no matter where we are,
We're the same people we've been
Every day of our lives, just a
Different manner of speaking and a
Brand new set of clothes that
We bought on sale at the mall with
Money we used to spend on

Drugs,
Booze,
Company,
Friends,
Cigarettes,
Lust,
Our own
Selfishness,
Self-pity
New shoes.

So we can walk
To a graveyard
To bury ourselves
In the end but no...

Not me.


__________________________

Pissing Inspiration.

The only thing that I hate about reading
Is that almost every time I turn a page
I get a fucking papercut. So here I am
Reading these books with thousands
And thousands of little cuts on my fingers
Some of them are still fresh. The insides
Of the pages are smeared with blood and
More blood and ink. I can never seem to
Do anything without wounding myself.

When I got tired of reading I decided to pick up a pen and write.
The first words I wrote down on a blank piece of paper ironically were:

"What the hell am I going to write about?"

So I sat there for a while and thought,
And I thought. Until finally it hit me.
I would write about the dream I had!
I had finally found myself an answer but...

Then I remembered:
I forgot to remember my dream.

"Shit!" I said aloud as I threw my pen at the wall.
It exploded and left a blueish-black mark where it hit.

I never thought I would ever be a great writer I guess.
I still don't think that I am but you know what?
Writing my own stories is better than a little voice
In my head that sounds like me telling them to me.

Do dogs think in English?
Maybe.
Probably.
I guess so.

...the fuck would I know?



__________________________

I make bad decisions... sometimes.

One day I got this crazy idea
To hurl my body into the ocean
And let the water take me to
Any place that the currents go
So I was standing on a bridge
About to jump off and I look over
Some young man was there
And he was plotting suicide

So I said:

"You know when you jump the fall won't kill you?"
I guess he was willing to take his chances.

I realize that the difference between this situation was me being an optimist.
Now I'm typically the type of person to assume the glass is half empty. In which case,
I go to the faucet and pour myself a full, delicious glass of pure tap water. Of course.
This young man didn't know what he was getting himself into. He would rather sit there
And bitch and moan about how his glass was never full and there was no way it ever
Would be. But he was just too damn lazy to get up and walk to the sink and turn a knob.

So I pushed the motherfucker.
And then I got down and realized:

"I could have fucking killed myself."